Lost

I am finding a new job.

Deym it. What do i really want in my life?

I feel like I'm freakin' lost.

But anyway, its not as bad as it seems... I'm taking it slow. But i should note to my self that I'll be broke by April if i'll pass my resignation this upcoming March. Hayy...

Maybe you're asking, 'Why are you leaving? I thought you love your job..."

I thought too... It's just there were a lot of things that pushed me to quit.

First is the financial. I wanted to save. I wanted to travel. But at my current "professional pay" right now is not working anymore. Yes, i am thrifty. But it's not enough anymore. Next month, I'll pay for water bills, internet bills, yaya bills (which is yung paglalaba lang naman ang need ko, tapos bibili pa daw ng washing machine.) Its. Not. Enough. Anymore.

Second, I look on practicality. After ten years, I want to earn as much as i have to for my future family and all. I want to give my future children the life that they deserve. At this point, I'm deciding which career path do I really want. Yes, I have explored enough. And I know what i really want. To be in construction industry. Construction is challenging but I can manage. I am not interested on how much success i would attain in terms on my career, but on how I'll be happy in my life in the future.

Third is my "job". As much as I wanted to be a hydrologist, i don't think it's happy anymore. In my definition of happy kasi, 'yung masaya ka sa ginagawa mo, at masaya ka kasama ng mga katrabaho mo, masaya ka sa boss mo, masaya ka sa kompaniya mo. Well, andaming wala sa current job ko. 'yun lang masaya ako sa ginagawa ko. I have friends in my company, but the others seemed distant. I don't know why. Maybe because they're too smart? LOL. Baka hinahanap ko pa din `yung dating samahan namin ng dati kong trabaho. Masaya sa "Boss"? Well, professionally speaking, i respect our boss, he's a young SVP/Project Manager of the company.  But i think he lacks passion about his job and the people he's handling. In my own opinion, when you're a boss, don't take it too personally that you're a "boss". Don't absorb it too much. Its not the world is revolving around a boss. Consideration is one of the important characteristics of a good boss. Hindi naman lahat ng 'unfortunate' events na nangyayari, kasalanan ng tao. Many factors can contribute to the scenario. Also, when you're a boss, have a sense of urgency. Huwag naman sanang maging pa-importante. Sabi nga, there's a line difference between a boss and a leader.

My job description was a hydrologist, not a project coordinator. Okay lang naman kung may proper direction. Eh wala. Magulo. Ako pa naman `yung kapag alam kong kailangan ng atensiyon ang trabaho gusto ko natatapos agad. Pero kung ayaw makipag-cooperate ng isa, ano'ng mangyayari? Tsssss...

I have high respect from him. But it is all gone.

Good thing is that I'm thinking of finding another job again. Salamat at dahil sa 'boss' ko na yon ay nakapagdecide na ako na baka ang paga-abroad ang para sa akin.

Also, i still don't have a contract to my company after it expired last January. I mean, what the...f???

Many reasons pushed me.

And can I push myself too?


I have dreams for my future. For our future. Yes. For our future.

Signing off,

Amohr