Another Day

Good morning, my blog. This is another day of my life. I'm actually having a really smooth week unlike the previous weeks, but i feel stressed as usual. Ah, kailan ba 'yon nawala? Anyway, i don't have the appetite to eat every meal but im trying very hard to eat because my body needs it. And when i do that, i feel nausating all the time. :(

Oh, no. Its not what you think. I'm not, you know, pregnant. Haha! Baka kasi iniisip niyo. It's just im like this when i have many things in mind. And i always have many things in my mind so im always stressed. LOL ano daw?

I wonder when will i gain weight. I
'm underweight because of my height. my weight is 49.40kgs but my height is 165cm so underweight talaga. Haha My Godmother told me to take some vitamins. Hmm. I'll think about it.

So...they say its payday today. LOL. Wag niyo kong hohold-up-in dahil hindi ko alam kung kasama aq sa susuweldo because my timesheet was not gven to me. Haha.

I actually just have 2 hours of sleep since i slept 3.30am. I worked out my template sheet on estimation of valve box,and because of my slowness, i finished it 3 hrs. Damn it. Lately, what bothers me is that im taking time to accomplish something. But time is gold, i knew it have to catch every learnings fast. Hayy. I'm such a slow learner...

I gotta go, folks. Good morning. :)

posted from Bloggeroid

Remembering my Mother

I woke up, crying. I dreamt about my mother. And God, I missed her soo much. I want her to stay. She said she would leave because we wanted to. Oh, mother. Sorry. So sorry if you think we gave up on you. That's not what we wanted. We don't want to see you suffer...and we couldnt take seeing you like that. If we're in pain, God knows how much you're more in pain. I love you and I missed you, Ma...

posted from Bloggeroid

Purpose in Life?

Time to compose a blog entry. Yehey!

I dont know why i can't post a new blogpost using the computer. So i'm trying to post using my phone. :) I hope it'll work.

So, unlike my previous blog entry, i feel better today. All my stress were washed away after i messaged my father and got the rare chance to see my college bestfriends, ate Rashmi and Lady Rose. And ofcourse, last but not the least, Our basketball team Gilas Pilipinas made it to the Finals of FIBA Asia. Wuuuu! The game was exciting. It's not predictable since at the start of the fourth quarter, it became a seasaw game against the Korea. :)

Anyway, I realized, its true that never compare others chapter 20 to your chapter1. I agree. *sigh* (emo mode turn on) If only i had the self confidence, which i don't really have no matter how i try, i wouldn't be stressed everytime i would go to work. Damn that photocopy machine. That machine ruined my whole week. I don't know why. It's just, what the hell, i didnt do anythng, it just went crazy all of the sudden. Almost half a ream of bondpaper were... wasted. And basically speaking, its all my fault. Although deep down to myself, i really, didnt do anything para ma-recopy yun ng madaming beses. How frustating.

I almost cried that day, thinking at the middle of the busy station of MRT, about what on earth was my purpose in life? Why is it so hard to live with other people? Why i always fail, feel like the dumbest person in the planet? Why do I have to feel so down, that i hate myself so much? Sometimes, i feel that I'm not afraid to die anytime, im just afraid it would hurt. Because i don't think i have a purpose in life. Yes, I have many dreams. But what will i get when i reach my dream? When i think of my mother and our dreams, i would just cry silently. My mother won't be here anyway. No matter how i want to hug her, i couldn't. No matter how many times i would utter the word "sorry", she won't come back... One of the reason why i'm lonely because i missed her whenever i feel so low. less than three months na lang, one year death anniv na Mama. Sometimes, life is just so hard.. Hard to let go. Even though the memories were painful, its hard to erased it on my mind.

That's what i felt yesterday. But God really is good. He gave me a looong break to recover about how i felt this week. Holiday plus weekends. Time to think peaceful thoughts and have great time with friends, aunt and brother.

Maganda pa rin 'yong marami kang napapagsabihan para mailabas ang frustration. Stress absorber ba. You are one of my stress absorber, my blog. Now i know what is my purpose in life-- to continue searching... For real hapiness and lovelife. Kailan kaya ako magkaka-love life? Sabay ganun. Hehe!

Gilas Pilipinas. Laban at Puso. Thats what i'm talking about! I'm proud to be a Filipino.

Pingris, Ocampo, Alapag, Fonacier, Castro, Chan, David, etc., great job! Panalo ang steal ni pingris and three point shots by Alapag in the last quarter. All the hardwork worth it! Way to go #spain2014 ! Finals bukas with Iran, kahit surebol na, galingan niyo pa dn, mga men. ^_^

Babala, ang entry na ito ay masyadong emosyonal. Masaya at malungkot. Bipolar lang. LOL

Oops, sorry. Too late to say that.

Till next time. Goodnight!

posted from Bloggeroid

MRT

The title is where i am right now when typing this blogpost. Guadalupe station na raw. Haha So, since my station is 2nd to the last station pa, i'll just compose a blogpost. Pampalipas oras.

Well, i feel sad and frustrated again. I don't understand and imagine what on earth happened to the plan of pre-cast element that was gven to me. I was suppose to compute the formworks and volume of concrete, but how could i? Tskk. Bukas na lang daw. Buti na lang, mabait si Ma'am. Haha although iniisip ko pa din kung bakit hindi kaintindi-intindi ang pesteng plano na 'yon.. Huhuhuhu i wonder if i could sleep peacefully.. T.T

Try and try...!

posted from Bloggeroid

Don't Judge the Book by its Cover

Most of the time, i feel rejected. Rejected. Why? Because I think some people judge me according to the way they want to think of me based on my mere actions. Yes, you judge people based on what they say and act but they didn't care to understand why i act like that. They didn't care... to look deep into that person. We mostly judge the person that we don't know that much or even... personally. Sometimes, we are being defensive (enumerate reasons why we judge that person) because that's what we want to believe and eventually, hoping to get sympathy with other people. It's true that you cannot please other people. Show them the real you, and they will reject you. Say what you feel and they will judge you. Oh, We people. We hate our own shadows, right?

Do we have a right to judge people? No. Because we don't know what they're going through. Unless you want to take a fit on their shoe once in your life? But you don't want to. And since that's impossible, why judge them?

"Learn to respect all kinds of people because everyone is fighting a battle on their own. We all have our own problems, bad side and bad days. But their is so much more behind it."

-credits to the owner of the quote. :)

Okay lang sabihin ang opinyon natin sa isang tao. Pero, hindi yata maganda kung ulit-ulit na nating jina-judge yung tao at nakakasira na ng pagkatao 'yong mga sinasabi natin. That's too bad, right?

Remember: Don't be too defensive.

Anyway, i guess i should learn to care a little less to those people. Ah, but more thanks to them, i learned to strive more and to continue reaching my goals. I still haven't proven anything so i'll just work my butt out and do my best to concentrate to my career, making sure i'm not hurting other people.

Haha. Wala na naman akong mapost. Ang gusto ko lang naman sabihin, bakit wala akong lovelife? Hahahaha!

posted from Bloggeroid

Work. Work.

I feel... stupid. Very stupid. Ang sabi nila, naguumpisa pa lang kasi si ako kaya gano'n. Pero kailangan ba talaga mahirapan ako ng ganito? >.< lately, nada-down ako. Kasi busy sila, samantalang ako ay petiks lang. I don't know what to do. What to do? The truth is, i have no idea what they were doing. I want to ask questions, but i don't even know where to start with. So... maybe i'll start researching all by myself. Baka isa-isang masagot ang mga "unknown" questions ko. Wala  na kasi akong magawang tama. Kanina, ilang ulit kong ginawa `yung summarization na scope of works ng cement plant project extension ng isang kompaniya. Pero mali, e. Ang tagal kong ginawa, mali pala. Tapos `di ko pa masyadong maintindihan. Ang bopols ko lang lately. Ganito pala ang working environment. Kaka-stress. HAHA.

Sinasabi nila, kasi naguumpisa ka palang. One week na ako bukas, pero feeling ko ay wala pa akong nagagawang matino. haha! Documentation na nga lang, hindi ko magawa ng tama. I wish i could cope up with work easily. I need inspiration... parang dati.

hayyyyy...

Over Acting

Damn it! I can't help my freakin' tears! why am i crying? Its not as if I'm dying. Its just... Why the heck?? Maybe I just have to blurt this out.

So... I went to the office to get my fit to work certificate. But i didn't. It's not actually a life-threathening stuff but it really bothers me. I have to go to Orthopedic doctor to have my medical clearance so I could work. As much as I hate doctors and hospitals, I have to see a bunch of them later on in my life. Oh, life. Isn't it Ironic? Tsk.

Maybe, Its just i remember what happened to my mother. Ako kasi laging kasama sa check-up pati sa pananatili sa Ospital. I just don't want to see a doctor again.

But what would I do? I don't have much choice. I just wish its not severe as I thought so I could have my medical clearance and start to work.

Ah, I don't want to be tall anymore. I would do everything to give my 4in height to anyone. LOL

Wish me luck tomorrow. :)

There. I feel good na ulit. ^_^

posted from Bloggeroid