May Forever

Dahil kapapanood ko lang ng pelikula na ang title ay kabaligtaran ng title ng blogpost na ito, magpo-post ako ng thoughts ko about doon :)

At since wala namang nagbabasa ng blog ko, de good. ^_^

Hayyyyyy.. Walang Forever. Ang sabi sa movie, kapag daw tinanong mo ang isang tao at isinagot sayo ay 'May forever', nakahanda pang tanggapin ng taong iyon ang mahal niya. Kung 'Walang forever', handa na itong mag-let go sa taong minamahal niya. No wonder naniniwala ako sa "may forever'. I will hold on to him as long as I can, as long as I love him...

I can imagine kung paano magmahal si Mia kay Ethan at Ethan kay Mia... Kakakilig ang bawat eksena na magkasama sila. Natural na natural ang pag-arte.

I can say na based on true relationships lahat ng iyon. Totoo naman talagang minsan may 'walang forever' drama sa ating mga relasyon, But you should fight if you know its worth it. Sa tuwing mag-aaway kayo, please lang, think of all the good times rather than bad times. Ofcourse, dapat maraming good times kayo.

May na-miss ako sa movie na 'yan. Alam niyo na. HAHA. Ganoon kami magkulitan. Kagaya ni Mia, kinukulit-kulit ko ang boyfriend ko kapag engrossed siya sa nilalaro niyang games sa cellphone o kaya naman, concentrated masyado sa pinapanood sa tv. Kinakagat-kagat ko, niyayakap ko sa likod, para lang maagaw ko ang atensiyon niya, Magagagalit-galitan, tapos ihihilig na niya ako sa lap niya or sa balikat niya. Hayyyyyy. Kakilig magka-bf. LOL

Ugali no'n kapag nangungulit ng lambing, niyayakap ako ng mahigpit, saka aamuy-amuyin yung buhok ko. tapos kiss sa noo. Hayyy.. I love sundays.... I miss him agad...

Travelling Together Makes the Heart Grow Fonder

Natutuwa ako kasi ako lang mag-isa ang nagbi-view ng blog ko :) at least wala akong naiimpluwensiyahan ng mga kalokohan ko sa buhay.

Anyway, I'm starting a new blog-- a travel blog. I love to travel. Pero sa edad kong ito (almost at my quarter life), kakaunti pa lang ang napupuntahan ko. I've been so busy in my life back then, you know-- studies, board exam, work, work and work. Pero since nagsstart na akong makaipon (at nag-iipon) once in a while I plan out of town vacation. Siyempre, gusto ko naman kasama si boyfie para may taga dala ako ng gamit. LOL. joke. Hindi, para masaya :)

And so we have Anawangin vacation for 2 days and 1 night this weekends. I'm sooo excited! I love it when we travel together kahit may mga kasama kaming friends.

Sabi nila, mas tumitibay daw ang relasyon kapag nagta-travel. Well, siguro nga. Marami rin akong nadiscover na qualities niya habang kasama ko siya.

So here are some of his qualities that i realize while we travel together (with some chaperones-- este friends pala. Joke lang guyssssssssss :))

1. He's invincible

Para siyang nagsusuot ng invincible coat pag naghahanapan na kami kung saang lugar kami magkikita. LOL. At palagi talaga kaming nagtatalo sa lugar na pagkikitaan namin. Hindi niya alam kung nasaan ako, hindi ko rin alam kung nasaan siya. And we will meet halfway. At kapag nagkita na kami, kakagatin ko lang siya sa braso, okay na kami. HAHA

2. He's willing to spend money as long as we're comfortable, however, he's really a frugal man.

Galante siya basta komportable kami sa trip. Pero sa totoo lang, matipid siya. Sa madaling salita, kung gagastos siya, dapat 'yung worth it ng perang gagastusin niya. 

3. He does not like to travel

Ayaw niyang mag-travel, pero dahil sinasama ko siya, nararamdaman kong unti-unti rin niya iyong nagugustuhan. Isa pa, kahit na pilit lang ang pagsama niya, pagdating sa place na pupuntahan namin, para siyang bata na enjoy na enjoy sa mga views. I love looking at him like he's a child. haha

4. He's very patient

I remember those times that we were in Sagada going to Baguio, sumama talaga ng bongga ang tiyan ko. Siyempre, unang hahanapin-- CR! Matiyaga niya akong sinasamahan maghanap ng CR at bumili ng gamot sa napakalayong botika, imbes na sumama magtour at mamitas ng mga stawberries. One time also, we joined our family swimming in Subic, i had my "friend" that very first day, my uterus is really hurting (uterus talaga?) hahaha Wala siyang magawa kundi samahan ako. HAHA I feel very loved that time. hashtag heart heart #<3 div="">

5. He's excited and adventurous

Ang mokong, kunyari pang ayaw magtavel-travel, pero kapag nandoon na sa lugar na pupuntahan, aba, mauuna na sa ilog para magswimming (puerto galera timesss), hindi man lang inisip na hindi ako marunong lumangoy. Anyway, nagtampo ako sa kaniya that time. LOL. He also likes to jump off the water and swimmm (cliff jumping at Hundred islands). He likes to walk around the beach before swimming. He likes to climb mountains and explore caves (Sagada).

6. He like heights

He likes heights because i hate it. Haha Takot ako sa heights. In short, he love what i hate. Nang-aasar lang, gano'n. Gusto niyang sumakay ng Extreme (rides in Enchanted Kingdom), but nah, NO. Gusto niyang mag-Anchor's Away, todo tanggi ako. Ayaw ko na. Hahaha I also remember when we were in Tagaytay, takot akong sumakay sa zip line, panay pilit ng mokong. Siyempre, hindi ako nagpapilit. takot ako, e. Instead, we went to this huge ferris wheel, and I was like "Sure! Safe naman sa loob". Pero nakakalula pa rin pala. But then, I was amazed at the view, so i forgot my fear of heights kahit na kapit na kapit pa rin ako sa pole. Ang nakaka-touch lang, nagkunwari pa ang mokong na takot din sa heights maka-yakap lang. LOL. Or, para siguro damayan ako.

7. He respects my decisions

Like i told you, there were many times-- many many times-- that i turn down his requests ('Yong mga magsakay-sakay sa kung anu-anong may kinalaman sa heights). But the thing that really gets me into him is how he respects my decisions when it comes to out itinerary and money. Kung saan ko gustong kumain, go. Kung saan ko gusto magpunta, go rin. Siyempre, pinagbibigyan ko rin naman siya sa mga desisyon niya once na magsabi siya. But since I'm the type of girl that likes to make decisions, (trust me, marami akong plano HAHA) i really appreciate the fact that he respects it. I'm so glad that he was as kind as that. hashtag heart heart #<3 div="" ulit.="">

So... Ilan lang iyan sa mga bagay na na-discover ko about him. Marami pang iba. I'll post our Anawangin adventure some other time.

Thanks for reading :'>

Love,

Amohr

It Started With an End...

Six months and a half month ago... It started with an "end". Sinamahan niya ako na magdala ng mga gamit ko sa bahay namin dahil mag-reresign na ako. "End" -- dahil nalalabi na lang ang araw na magkakasama kami. Pero ang nangyari, pinigilan niya ako. So our love story started...

Hindi ko masasabing we're the best of friends, but we're close. Close to the point na 9 months ko siyang kasama, umaga hanggang gabi, pito o anim na araw sa isang linggo (24/7), dahil nakatira kami sa iisang staff house. Yeah, technically, we started as two persons living together-- with co-workers, ofcourse. We're housemates sa bahay, you know. 

He was just simple, no complications. Hindi siya madalas maglakwatsa, madalas ay nasa staffhouse lang tuwing sundays habang kami ay umuuwi sa kaniya-kaniyang mga tahanan. Pero minsan, hindi na din ako umuuwi ng sundays dahil iyon lang ang wash day namin, "free time" para makabonding ang isa't-isa.

Kilalang-kilala ko na ang taong 'to na kahit pag-utot niya ay alam ko. Lahat. Kaya thankful din na nakilala ko siya sa paraang ganito, hindi tulad ng mga ibang magkasintahan na mga mababangong ugali muna ang ipinapakita sa isa't-isa.

Noong naging kami, mas sumaya ang mga araw ko. I never thought i could be happy with a man. Ganoon pala magmahal. Literal na may mga glitters kapag magkasama kayo... (Korni)

Time passed by, and everyday, i'm loving him more. He was like my favorite song, playing on and on in my mind. He always encircle my thoughts, kung kumusta na ang araw niya, kung nakauwi na kaya siya, nakakain na kaya siya... Yeah, it was kind of terrifying feeling of depending on someone, as much as it sounds like a paranoid person. xD But its okay, noong tinanggap ko siya, binigay ko sa kaniya ng buo ang puso ko. Kaya wala ng bawian. HAHA

Nararamdaman ko naman that he was feeling the same too because of his efforts. Bagamat madalas akong magtampo because he was not too clingy, or showy to his feelings, but the way he looked at me when he suddenly wants to look at me, it was very overwhelming. Bakit ko nga pala sinasabi na hindi siya showy? Dahil ayaw niyang nakikipagholding hands in public. LOL Basta ayaw niya ng mga intimate moment (PDA) sa public-- Which i understands. Pero kapag mainit ang ulo ko (alam niyo na kung bakit--Hormones HAHA), nagtatampo ako dahil baka kako kesyo kinahihiya ako or may ibang gf na pinagtataguan or something. But everytime na inaaway ko siya dahil doon, hahawakan na niya ang kamay ko, tatawa lang at maglalambing. Hayyy. How can I resist.....

Anyway, nasa kaniya lahat ng tiwala ko pagdating sa bagay na 'yon. He was the kind of person that i could trust. Maybe because I know how God-fearing he was.

He also introduced me to his religion and i am looking forward to be one of them. Lagi kong sinasabi na hindi dahil sa kaniya (mostly) kung bakit ako umanib sa kanila, but i really believe to what they are believing in. It was more on the enlightenment. And that was the reason why I was very thankful that God gave me him. Dahil lalo akong naging malapit sa Diyos. Lagi ko ring ipinagdarasal na patnubayan Niya ang relasyon namin.

I am happy to be with Him I couldn't ask for more. Clingy man akong girlfriend, ayos lang. Lagi kong sinasabi sa ibang mga magmamahal na maaring huwag ibigay ang buong pagmamahal mo kay "mr. right", pero that's your choice. And I chose to give all the love I could give to him so that there are no regrets later.

Sabi ko nga, "I'm gonna love you like I'm gonna lose you,"

Kanta lang.

LOL

Missing You T.T

Lagi ko naman siyang na-mimiss noon pa.

But this time, i am terribly missing him. Missing him like crazy. Like literally crazy. Kiddin'. LOL
No, to the point that when i think of him, a tear would fell down my cheeks.

We talk over phone during bedtime everyday, and once a week, we used to see each other. Pero lagi na lang na pakiramdam ko, hindi 'yon sapat. At the end of the day, of every conversation, of every last eye to eye goodbyes, i would miss him-- so much-- that i wanted to cry in sadness.

Siguro, dahil dati ay kasa-kasama ko siya sa maghapon, 24/7, seven times a week. No'ng magkatrabaho kami, sabay kami sa lahat ng bagay. Pumasok sa trabaho, kumain ng lunch, dinner, merienda, umuwi sa trabaho, magtoothbrush sa gabi, sabay na humihiga sa kaniya-kaniyang kama kapag natapos na ang araw. Hayyy. Lahat talaga ng bagay, nagbabago. Change is inevitable.

Ako naman ang lumayo, e. Pero dahil tapos na rin naman ang project namin, talagang paghihiwalayin din kami ng project. Anyway, wala naman akong regrets sa step na ginawa ko in terms of career side.

Waaa! how could I get over with him? I mean, 'yong pagka-miss ko pala. Is this really normal? LOL

I just miss him T.T

Makikinig na lang ako ng kantang "Missing you" by Bea Alonzo. LOL

Pagbigyan na....

Space.

Ano ka? Astronaut para bigyan ko ng space? Pero siyempre, di ko yun sasabihin sa kaniya.

Today, I haven't messaged him nor called him. Naiintindihan ko na... Maybe he wanted space. Baka naso-suffocate na siya sa akin dahil nga araw-araw kaming naguusap thru phone bago matulog. Pagbibigyan ko na siya sa gusto niyang mangyari na every other day na lang kami magusap thru phone. I will stop expecting receiving messages from him daily also. Kailangan kong gawin 'to. Ito lang ang paraang alam ko para hindi ma-toxic ang relationship namin. Mahirap naman 'yung may isang na-totoxic di ba?

Maybe I should grow on my own as well... Naka-depende na kasi sa kaniya at sa expectations ko ang emosyon ko. I should learn how to control it again. Just like the old days when i was single. I should take over control of my emotions!

Hope it will be fine in the next days.

Hindi na ako maa-upset, promise. Nakakuha na ako ng payo from my best friends...

:D

Love. love. love

Communication

My relationship with my first ever boyfriend was not perfect. No relationship is perfect, i realized.There were good times, there were bad times. During good times, there times were like... i was in a cloud nine, butterflies and sparks are all over, everywhere. I love being with him, to the extent that I can literally survive the day if i was in his arms all day and all night.

Waking up beside the man you love was pure heaven. I remember waking up with him, thinking, "Ah, i could get used to this for the rest of my life". And boom! Suddenly I realized that I am starting to think about my future with this man, about how our life will be 3 years from now...

He was my first in all of the first that a girl to grown up woman like me should experience. My first real romantic date, first kiss, first holding hands, first intimate hug with a man, first dance, first man who brought me flowers... My first love. And all the first that you could think of. He often visit me in our house thrice a month since we separated from my previous work (we were co-workers that time).

But aside from good times, there were bad times. We are normal couples who fight but we make sure to end the issue at the end of the day. We always has communication issues. Communication for me is one of the important things in a relationship so as much as possible i would like to talk to him once a day, after work. But what is it with men not to notice that we women wants to connect more often? We are genetically wired for that. He usually asserts that we are always talking to each other so maybe we should make it to call every other day. I was like, "always?!" We barely chat in fb during daytime, and there were many times that he doesn't chat me in a day... I do not doubt his love for me. But he do not initiate the communication thing. Yes, he visits me in our place but i would like to talk to him once a week.. 

Agh, men! What is it with you not to be touchy about those things? LOL

But we're working things out. And hopefully we can agree on  those things..........

Sinner or Saint ?

I know I am not perfect, nor good or saint. I always fall on doing sins. And I always regret that and I continuously ask for God's forgiveness to my sins.

But I have committed this one grievous sin that I never knew I could. But I did not regret doing that... At Lagi-lagi akong humihingi ng tawad sa Panginoon para doon.

May mga pangayayari lang lately na bumabagabag sa akin.. It's really complicated. 

Maybe there is a reason kung bakit nangyayari samin to. Hindi ko nga alam na makakaraing ako sa puntong ganito, e. Never in my wildest dreams.

But everything is okay now. Marami na din ang na-realize at mga aral na natutunan para sa susunod ay hindi na mangyari ang kinatatakutan ng lahat...

Pero hindi na maibabalik ang nakaraan...

I am a sinner. not a saint.

And it is all because of love.

It's complicated.