Trying Hard

I'm really trying hard to learn how to add fonts in my blog but I don't freaking know how it was done. HAHA I tried to read the step by step process but... i can't understand. Gahd, I suck at Information technology codes stuff... as much as I hate C++ program! Damn.

After Movie Thoughts

I soooo love Ashton Kutcher! I mean, not because of his looks but his character in the movie "Killers". It's a romantic-action movie, just like the movie "Knight and Day". The way Spencer (Ashton Kutcher's character) took care of his wife (Katherine Heigl) to keep her safe, it's just soooo SWEET. I won't tell exactly what are my favorite scenes 'cause I don't wanna be a spoiler. I would just recommend you to watch it. ^_^

The movie makes me think about how does it feels when someone's protecting you… like, care for you? I want to feel that. Even though I stopped writing romance novels, I'll always be a hopeless romantic person.  I believe my poor prince charming's just over there, maybe stuck in a twig or something. HAHA. Okay fine, sometimes I'm bitter when it comes to other's relationship (when I see couple in public places LOL), 'cause I sometimes believe that I won't be having mine… ever.  But you know, maybe I'll just find out what's on the other side of the bridge when I get there. Whenever I say: "Hindi na ako magaasawa," lagi nilang sinasabi: "Kakainin mo din `yang sinasabi mo, hindi mo pa kasi nakikilala ang lalaking para sa `yo." Then I would just laugh at them with a big "HA-HA".

I don't know. Feeling ko lang, walang lalaking maglalakas loob na magsasabi ng "I love you" sa `kin. HAHA! Do you know that I'm smiling right now? I'm actually fighting myself not to laugh while writing this blog entry. Kapag nabasa `to ng hindi ko kilala, they would think I'm crazy. But what's crazy for assessing your own feelings and thoughts? HAHA

Okay. Let me tell you a secret. Ito ang tinatawag na "NEVER" checklist.

-Never pa akong hinatid ng isang lalaki sa house namin.

-No guy ever told me… ILY-- in the face. (shucks I want to cover my face)

-No guy has ever courted me. (Maybe because I'm ugly or my personality sucks. OR maybe because i'm not good in english HAHA)

-I've never been into a "romantic date" ( I had a few movie date but I don't even think it's a date because… we're just friends. That's what he told to my bestfriend. It's kinda weird that they're sometimes talking about me, you know. HAHA)

-I never had a first dance (wala kaming JS prom, e.)

-Never pa akong nabigyan ng flowers.

-Well… I've never fallen, madly, deeply, head-over-heels in love. YET.

-Never pa akong nagka-boyfriend. ( Okay, paulit-ulit na. I wouldn't say it again because I feel it sounds so embarrassing.)

Wala na akong sasabihin pa. Nakakahiya na, e. Sometimes, I want to ask myself, "Where on earth did you get all that romantic bones, stuffs and ideas, Rhoma?"

Ah, ano kayang pakiramdam na may nag-aalaga, nagaalala at pumo-protekta  sa `yo? I mean, in a romantic way, between a man and a woman.  I love myself( yeah, right), but how does it feels like when you know there are other person who love you too? xD Damn that movie, it makes me think of a thousand questions about relationship.

Since I've never been in a romantic relationship, "experience-ly" speaking, I don't know what I'm writing (in my novels). HAHA. But anyway, hindi naman ibig sabihin na hindi mo pa nae-experience ang mga sinusulat mo ay hindi `yon totoo. Who knows? Baka magkatotoo `yon. Hmmm. Which makes me think, may lalaki nga ba na katulad ng sinusulat ko na… almost perfect?

Damn right, nobody's perfect. I'm no Miss perfect so why should I look for Mr. Perfect? Nah, I don't even have a plan for looking. I  wrote this blog entry not because I want a lovelife, either. This is only my thoughts. Kung nasaan man ang prince charming ko, just keep calm and love... yourself first. HAHA if you don't love yourself, how on earth would you love me? LOL

Agh! I just want Ashton Kutcher himself. Can I take him home? LOL

Engr. Rhoma Reyes, signing off. :)

Hate. Love. Hate

I always hated answering phone calls who want to hire me as a call center agent. Hindi naman sa minamaliit ko ang pagiging call center agent. I admire them pa nga, e. Its just I suck in speaking in English and you're asking me to work in a call center? like duh? HAHAHAHAHAHA

I remember one of my professor told us that its acceptable if we, engineers, are not much good in speaking English. It's the thought that counts, right? LOL But hey, we're living in the Philippines and therefore I should just accept that English is our second mother language. So I think I should start practicing writing and speaking in English. I don't care if the grammar's wrong. hahaha.

So... I mentioned this because of what I acted during the last interview I had. Mental block. Damn mental block. I just couldn't express my thoughts... It's really shameful that in my age, i suck in speaking in English. I sometimes envy others because they could express their thoughts excellently in English. They sounded sooooo smart. When you can speak in English, they are smart. Right? Right? Right? *sigh*

So... I must start reading, speaking and watching english movies. LOL

And maybe, most importantly, i should keep calm and confident that I am the perfect applicant for that position. Okay! Now, I know what to do. (Yeah, right. Ganyan tayo, e. haha! )

I take back what i said in my last entry yesterday. I have many friends. Why would i feel so alone when I have many friends? What an emo. Haha! So, forgive me. It's me that I should blame. *sigh* Oopps! I am not an emo today. stop. stop. stop.

Signing off :)

DRAMA Blues

There are many things i want to say on this blog right now but i don't know where to start. LOL Anyway, it just feels kinda weird that.. like... I'm attached to someone. I look forward to this person's next message to me. LOL It's not that I feel something to him, but I really want to know that person more, as a friend. Sa kaniya kasi, nakukuwento ko ang mga nangyayari sa buhay ko. It just feels light when i talk to him :)

Siguro, ganito lang ang pakiramdam ng gusto mong may makausap ka kahit sandali lang. `Yong makukuwento mo sa taong `yon `yong nakakahiyang nangyari sa buhay mo nang ayos lang sa kaniya at hindi ka huhusgahan. `Yong may pakialam... Minsan kasi, i feel like i have no friends. Minsan lang naman. LOL

Ah, Thanks to him, i was able to blurt out my frustrations in life. He's really a friend...

Friend. What is the definition of a friend? During my 2nd year in highschool, a book once defined it as "Friend is a precious jewel" (Okay, hindi `yon definition kundi comparison). So ayun, indeed it is... a precious jewel. I always want to have precious jewels (friends), pero hindi ko pa nahahanap `yong ultimate bestfriend ko. Siguro dahil na rin sa personality ko na.. introvert. Yes, I believe I am sometimes an introvert. `Yong tipong mas gustong mapag-isa. Ang weird `no? `Yong tipong takot sabihin ang nararamdaman sa isang tao... kung natutuwa ba ako, naiinis, nagagalit. It's true that i don't live in other's opinion but i care about their feelings. 

*Sigh* I missed my few friends way back in college. Kapag naaalala ko `yong mga kalokohan namin no'n at kung gaano kami ka-close kumpara ngayon na may sari-sarili ng buhay, nakaka-miss lang talaga. Bakit kasi kapag nagkakaroon ng bagong buhay ang iba, hindi na nagre-reach out sa mga taong naging parte ng nakaraan nila. Minsan tinatanong ko, am i really their friend? or kaibigan pa rin ba ang turing nila sa 'kin? Sometimes, i feel like i deserved no one as a friend... kasi ayaw na nilang makihalubilo sa 'kin dahil busy na sila sa buhay nila. (drama mode)

Noon pa, hinahanda ko na ang sarili ko na mamuhay mag-isa-- ng hindi umaasa kanino man. Ang babaw ko talaga. Daig ko pa ang may problema sa lovelife. LOL

Its not really a problem, its just how i feel this week..o sa mga nakalipas na araw. Ah, poor me.

Next time, ang masaklap na lovelife ko naman ang ikukuwento ko. `Di ba, ang enjoy maging ako? But really, kahit ganito ako, i feel like I'm more fortunate than others pa rin naman. :) At least I have relatives that cares for me...

There are just some people whom i care about that they doesn't seem to care to me that much. *DRAMA*

Signing off.

....

How can I know if its true?
How would I know that its you?
Why am I feeling such a loner
When you seem not to care?

I do admit that I miss you
But I wont tell that it's you
Afraid to tell what I really feel
For you might ask if it's real


Hmmmmmmmm... I suck at poems. *crumpled the paper and threw it in the basket* Why am I... Missing you?

Ano nga palang nangyari sa katapusan ng Koreanovelang Missing You? XD

posted from Bloggeroid

Too Good to be True

I... I just hate what I'm feeling right now. I feel that nobody wants me. :( Well, I mean company. Job?

Nililinaw ko lang. Baka kasi iba ang iniisip niyo. :)

It's just... Discrimination. We have to put ourselves above it to prove something. I don't have any experience. What do you expect? I saw an ad on the internet, its qualification is: a licensed engineer (civil), 20-23 yrs of age, with at least 2 years of experience.

Who are you freakin' kidding? sinong ga-graduate ng 18 yrs old sa kursong inhinyeryang sibil at pumasa ng board exam? Meron siguro. The genius ones. But I'm no genius. :(

Maybe, it's too good to be true... even those companies. -_-

Oh, well, i hate pitying myself. I feel like everybody would laugh at me and say "you're nothing" o kaya mas lalo lang akong kaawaan. Haha. Anyway, i'm just blurting my feelings. Okay, naka-recover na ako. Laban lang ng laban. :)

Feeling ko, nakakabisado ko na ang mga procedures sa paga-apply. :) samantalang dati, i have no freaking idea how to apply. Kaya 'to!

Napapala ng pagiging mapili. I asked for this. Paninindigan ko 'to :)

posted from Bloggeroid

A Review to Remember

I asked for this. I'm not going to give up. :) Patience is a virtue. Currently waiting for a text... or a call. Oh, please... After this week at wala pang balita, magwo-walk in ulit ako. :)

I was browsing for the books my cousin's cousin asked for me when i saw my diary when i was reviewing for board exam. I feel like, okay, its a breathe of fresh air because i know that i made it. That time... Well, masaya lang alalahanin kaya pagbigyan na. haha. I remember writing my name with "Engr." to motivate myself. Just so you know, I do have a lot of inspiration/motivation. :) Then I always abbreviate my name as "Engr. RR". Minsan, 'di na ang sarili ko ang pinapatungkulan ko sa pangalan na 'yan kundi 'yung crush na crush kong instructor. haha. I HAD a very huge crush talaga sa kanya. ('huge' na nga 'very' pa.) But it passed. *shrugs* He's just different. I mean, he don't even know me. Haha. We don't talk to each other since He's the unreachable one. I just don't know why i felt like i really "like" him since he became our instructor back in our Special Topics subject. Hahaha! Talk about crazy feelings, huh? But then i realize maybe i was just "fangirling" to think that i started to stalk him in FB. Damn, I did it. xD
I message him, yes. Nakakatuwa kasi nireply-an niya ako ang "thank you" ko ng: "Welcome :)" Take note: With a smiley! Imagine how I giggle like a highschool girl that time. LOL. Kaya nga hinding-hindi ko makakalimutan 'yong pagre-review ko no'ng board exam. What a review to remember...

Wala lang, napakuwento lang. Minsan, ipo-post ko ang mga entry ko sa diary ko noon... Remember, wala pa akong trabaho kaya makakapagpost pa ko dito. :) Samantalahin na. Good evening!

Diary Entry
Date: January 27, 2013
"Staring at his picture, I know there's this unexplainable feeling that always overwhelms me. Thinking of him makes me smile for no apparent reason and Imagining him smile at me makes me giggle with joy like a gradeschool student..."

posted from Bloggeroid